The Living~Dying Duet: From Swan Lake to Dirty Dancing
What Music Will You Play for Your Living~Dying Duet?
My life has become a Living~Dying Duet. When I first got the Early-Stage Dementia diagnosis there was only one dancer, and that was Dying. From the shock of the diagnosis I could only see Dying and the horrors of what dementia does to a person. As time continued I realized that I was still Living, that Dying was one part of my life and Living was another part of my life. Dealing with both of them led me to realize the connection between them -- my Living was affecting my Dying and my Dying was affecting my Living. I feel that awareness of my Dying is making my Living richer, and awareness of my Living is making my Dying more meaningful. This is the Living~Dying Duet.
Living and Dying are dancing the duet they choose, and what I can do is to choose what music I want to play. During a long walk one day the phrase occurred to me, When Living and Dying Dance a Duet, What Music Will You Play?© Perhaps the music will affect Living and Dying as they dance their duet, and in any case it will affect me and my life even as they dance their dance.
What music will I play as I'm in this Living~Dying process? How would I like to affect myself and the duet? There are many inspirations for how the dancing of a duet can feel. The duet in the ballet of Swan Lake is full of grace and quiet passion. Johnny and Baby are so spontaneous and emotional as they go with the music in Dirty Dancing. The formal waltz in My Fair Lady is very elegant and public. We can take inspiration from all the music we know in feeling what music we will play, and how we would like it to affect the Living~Dying Duet. I can change the music as my dementia progresses, as the Living~Dying Duet changes, and as how I relate to myself and the world changes.
And what music am I playing now for the Living~Dying Duet in my life? It is the music I'm feeling a lot right now and sing often as I'm out walking. I feel that it comes from having moved recently to the big blue skies and beautiful mountains of Colorado, from the amazing feeling of release that has come along with the stage of dementia I’m in, from seeing the beauty of the sunrise and the sunset each day, and from knowing what lays ahead for me. The music I am playing for my Living~Dying Duet is Born Free. And I'm playing and singing the song in a way somewhat like this fellow is -- from the heart, with much feelingfulness, the best I can even though I miss some of the notes, and well aware that "life is worth living, but only worth living 'cause you're born free".