The Living~Dying Duet: My Duet is Different as a Dying Parent
The Music That I Play Changes as the Living~Dying Duet of My Life Changes
The approach that I grew up with and live by is that parents support their children as the children build their lives and their futures. This occurs from generation to generation and allows the growth of the members of each generation according to their individual vision.
A part of this approach is that the parents will have for themselves what had been given to them by their parents, together with what they were able to generate themselves and maintaining a lifestyle appropriate to their situation, as the basis for their own lives. This does not include support from the children coming back to the parents.
Many factors in the world today challenge this approach, and the Living~Dying of Early-Stage Dementia and other conditions sharpen the presence and difficulty of this challenge. As parents live longer they need more resources for themselves no matter how modest their lifestyles. Parents may not have a choice regarding their lifestyle, and may require relocating to an elder-care facility or getting at-home care for things they are not able to do themselves as their condition deteriorates. In many cases this reverses the approach described above, and the parent becomes the "child" who is dependent on receiving the support of the actual children, and the child becomes a "parent" to provide the continued support to their actual parents.
The Living~Dying Duet that is my life has taken me to a different place than this. I am connected to both my living and my dying. I see the beautiful 71 years of living I've had, and how much I have to be thankful for those years and for what has filled them. I see the shift in balance between my living and my dying that is already underway, and how it will continue to affect me. I see where my children are in their Living~Dying cycles. My Living~Dying Duet leads me to a place that is clear to me: I was the child, I'm now the parent, and as my Dying ends up leading my Living in the Living~Dying Duet of my life I will support that happening and its results as being completely natural and acceptable, without my having any regrets. This is a continuation of "When Living and Dying Dance a Duet, What Music Will I Play" -- it is up to me to play the music that I feel is appropriate for this stage of the Living~Dying Duet of my life.