The Living~Dying Duet: What Dance, What Music

Deciding What Music to Play for the Living~Dying Duet

Living in and navigating the world of Early-Stage Dementia with the close presence of the Living~Dying Duet is full of challenges. Many of the rules and routines from before this period no longer apply, and there are many new situations that come up that we've never faced before. This quickly leads to feelings of fear and uncertainty, and the strong desire for help and support in learning this new landscape.

Although it's a new situation for everyone who enters this world, the meaning of "support" is different for different people. One response people have to being diagnosed with a condition like Early-Stage Dementia is to maintain their current lifestyle as much as possible, which may include an element of denial of some elements of their situation. For these people "support" would be things that allow them to hide their condition from other people, to limit the number of people who are aware of their condition, and to avoid facing and dealing with their condition.

For other people "support" would be guides or helpers as they move through the process they are in. This support can come from medical or psychological professionals, from family and friends, from information sources, from groups of people in similar situations, from religious beliefs, or from other sources. For these people "support" would be things that allow them to face, understand, and deal with their condition, to expand the number and kinds of resources that are available to them, and to set a path to follow as their condition develops.

I am in the latter group, and my experience is that the best support I'm getting for dealing with my condition is from Support Groups that I'm part of that meet either remotely or in-person. Connecting with people who are in a similar situation, and being able to communicate openly with the group, is the best support I've gotten related to my condition. At the same time, the support of people "being there" for me and in some ways participating in this journey with me comes from family and friends. I may not always share with them all the details and feelings that I'm having, but that is not the support I need to get from them. Family and friends are the support that has not changed even as everything else in my life has changed, that I can connect with them as a person no matter what else is happening.